"When happily ever after falls apart, you pick yourself up and you keep on going, even if it hurts like hell."

- Rendezvous at The Paradise Lost by Angeepang

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. - Proverbs 4:23

Wretched heart. Will you stop rejoicing at every little thing? He already said he’s giving up on us. IT HAS ENDED. Stop longing.

Over and over again, my mind whispers, shouts, begs.

“Please don’t give up on me.”

Every time I see something that reminds me of us, my heart clenches. And I consciously tell myself not to cry. It’s been happening a lot. Like every few hours. It’s not gonna stop, cause this has ended. It is the end. There will be no point where I can stop, because this is not temporary. It is really over.

"There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t cause I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone, and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love? And then you don’t have it? What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then… It falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is… death end. This…? It could go on forever."

- Grey’s Anatomy

"Yes I want you to do that so that I’ll stop loving you and all these nonsense."

- And all these nonsense, huh. You have yet to say more cruel words. I shall remind myself of these words for always. Until the day I get over you.

When will I see the light at the end of this tunnel, Lord?

Too miserable for words.

I guess sometimes you get so caught up with having to explain it to people that you don’t have time to process your own feelings.

Slowly sinking in.

Insecure. Afraid.

I feel damn wretched. And scared. It’s real now. It’s happening. I imagine the world will know tomorrow. I imagine the earth tilting on it’s axel and spinning off into the horizon. It feels like a mini end-of-the-world in my mind.

"It isn’t wasted if we’re waiting for something better. Now’s really not the time to be together because we’ve got different priorities. If we keep being together, we’ll just keep fighting. That’ll destroy the relationship. We broke up to preserve what we have together as best friends."

I really don’t know why I’m crying. I saw it coming.

You are sovereign in any, and every circumstance. You are still on the throne.

I know I can trust You.