February 2012
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Until you fully get over him, please, dear heart,...
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Guard your heart above all else, for it determines...
Wretched heart. Will you stop rejoicing at every little thing? He already said he’s giving up on us. IT HAS ENDED. Stop longing.
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“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter.
Proverbs 25:2
There’s a reason...”
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Over and over again, my mind whispers, shouts, begs.
“Please don’t give up on me.”
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Every time I see something that reminds me of us, my heart clenches. And I consciously tell myself not to cry. It’s been happening a lot. Like every few hours. It’s not gonna stop, cause this has ended. It is the end. There will be no point where I can stop, because this is not temporary. It is really over.
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“There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t cause I...”
– Grey’s Anatomy
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My brother just came home with a sun burn. And it just reminded me of the time I got burnt really badly on my back, you applied aloe vera gel for me. You were so gentle and so sweet. Holding me after that, because you didn’t like that I was hurting, even though it was just a bit.
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These emotions are so toxic. I’m so surprised to find out that I haven’t died from emotional poison yet.
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“Your heart can die a million times. It can tolerate a huge amount of pain. Sadly...”
– soapy
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“Hermione looked hysterical at this point.
Ginny sighed but before she could...”
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I need a break. Really need to run away somewhere where there’s no internet, no facebook, no twitter, no communication with the outside world. Nothing that will remind me of you. Run away until I get over you and get over this hurt. If I even survive to come back.
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I trusted you so much. I gave myself to you. Said that I was yours and asked for nothing in return but to call you mine. I allowed you to touch me, to kiss me. When I never allowed anyone else.
Now you’re out there with another. Sharing the smiles that used to be meant for me. Giving the gentle caresses that was mine. Spending time and money on someone that isn’t me.
I trusted you....
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Really for a while there felt like my heart was dying. I could almost feel it shrivel up and die from the lack of hopes and the dreams that were just crushed.
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心死了。
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It hurts to talk to you, but the silence is even more painful. I honestly thought better of you.
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Just wanna run away and have a good cry in your presence. I’m really alone now.
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“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with...”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
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From lovers to strangers. I really don’t know who you are anymore.
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There has to be a better way to express hurt than...
I have never felt anything so painful. It’s like walking around with a constant hole in your heart that no amount of work or friends or distraction could fill. It’s like a clawing sensation on your inner being. Like a part of you has been ripped apart - and I guess that’s just aptly it; because for the longest time, I thought that you had been my other half.
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I saw an old couple walk past me today. That could’ve been us.
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“Yes I want you to do that so that I’ll stop loving you and all these...”
– And all these nonsense, huh. You have yet to say more cruel words. I shall remind myself of these words for always. Until the day I get over you.
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I’m learning to love unconditionally - even if I’m not loved back. Because the source of this love doesn’t come from me, but from Him! :)
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I miss you very terribly, and it’s only day three.
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I miss you so much it hurts.
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The way I love you. I’m sorry.